Inducing Madness

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 04:57:56 GMT

I have officially moved.

Ich habe offiziell bewegt.

Je me suis déplacé.

? ???????? ??????????.

Ho mosso ufficialmente.

He movido oficialmente.

Ik heb officieel bewegen.

Jeg flyttet offisielt.

Bottle without a T.

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 13:58:55 GMT

Er-Beh-Ler-Ehy. Ability in Cockey English,

Boh-Ehl. Bottle.

Best quote: "Its unbelievable... if this is the first day of their marriage.. i wonder whats their future gonna be like"

Haha..

Play cello until hand cramp. siao.

CHeck this out.. ****** will be moving there soooon.

Mon, 19 Dec 2005 13:01:25 GMT

OMG. The Blogger and Google page turns up in CHINESE, and my gmail turns up in SANSKRIT! Oh Lord. Help. help. i'm going crazy.

Oh no! what are we to do!

Mon, 19 Dec 2005 11:13:27 GMT

I have issues giving up.

That i learnt through my cupboard piled full of rubbish. Whch i cleared today. And came across something that got me rolling on the floor in stitches.

It was my old "Ying Yong Wen" exercise book.. you know.. the one we write Chinese Essays and stuff inside.. and as we all know. The Author Ain't A Rocker when it comes to Chinese.

And there was this page where my chiniese teacher (Mdm Ng) scribbled:

JunHan! Chong Zuo!
(Jason! Redo!)

my reply?

P.s Mei Shi Jian!
(No time)

It was hilarious. My teacher probably fell into a deep coma, or suffered serious post traumatic stress disorders having such student.

I remembered the time.. when we had those chinese listenng comprehension tapes.. and there was this tape, where it had one of those grand chinese orchestral openings, usually reserved for emperors and heroes in period chinese serials... and so.. when my teacher came in, we played it, full blast. Her face looked like she was bitten on her nose by a faeces smeared skunk.

By the way, the grand entrance was followed by a series of formality praises.. as usually seen in period chinese drama serials.

I wonder how she is now. Whether she misses her craziest bunch of sec4 students.. who actually plotted to help her moonlight by opening a tuition agency called Mdm Ng Jiao Ni Kao A1 (Mdm Ng teaches you to get A1)... and the times when we made fun of her son's name (Ng Bee Tee.. which sounds like the chinese equivalent of nose mucus).. and made her watch that dirty old man wanking by the river.

Its a suprise that she was still alive and at least partially sane after such a harrowing ordeal with the mad students from 4SE..

It is really amusing reading and remembering how we actually made our teacher's hair turn white with fear, made their hearts skip a beat when we jump out from the back of the classroom door, and made them scream like mad people when we chased each other with chisels along the corridors. And never forgetting how they smiled when we made them laugh.

i miss school days.

I have this key chain, that i have been using since... 2001? It says, Saints 2001. (Duh!?) and so its been 4 years. Through JC 1, 2, army 1, 2. I've been using this darn thing.

And a week ago.. it broke. LIke Brokeded. : ( that totally Sucks.

And i can't bear to throw it away cus i've been using it for so damn blardy long.

And. i ran out of x'mas cards.

Operetta.

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 18:05:33 GMT

A whole hazelnut surrounded by a rich praline cream and crispy wafer, coated in milk chocolate, and chopped hazelnuts.

Went to meet Adriel and Cheowlu today.. both of them nearly played me out. Damn bitches.

Anyway. He was at this place. called Thos. and i thought of Thosai. I was tempted to ask if they served Thosai in Thos. A quaint little joint in between no where in city hall.

I bought a pair of swimming trunks. which look rather. suggestive. and skimpy. and chi chi la rue. ok. i'm thinking too much.

Had dinner at Bobby Rubino's at chijmes. Great place.. great food great company. Blardy bitches. i think the servers thought we were mad.

In order to get the car, i bluffed my dad that we were going to a friend's grandpa's wake in cck. When the actual truth was that we already scrapped that idea, and had decided to go some place else to chill.

so... we went off.. to Holland V, and ran into GREG. my ocs buddy, and KOUSTAV, another bitch from SAJC. brilliant. ate fondue, and drove off to adriel's place. where HE was taught to drive. in church. and around his estate. Hah. odd isn't it?

Wrote a whole box full of x'mas cards. going to send them soon. look out for them. : )

puzzled.

Fri, 16 Dec 2005 16:50:42 GMT

Have you ever had, something you really really liked, like a shirt, or a pair of shoes. Something that you really liked, but it didn't fit you?

You had bought it in the belief that it would fit you, wore it out and showed it off to all your friends. They were happy for you, but didn't seem to see that it didn't fit!

You knew that something wasn't right with it. But you chose to make yourself believe that one day perhaps it could fit you, and maybe you could change yourself to fit it.

Now, you really believe that the colors clash, so do its design. And you try all means to get rid of it. But the feeling lingers, you still like that article so much, it hurts so bad to throw it away.

You can only leave it in a corner, like a bad memory, and you can only take it out once in a while to touch it. You think about the times you had worn it and felt good.

You could only wish.

Everyone asks about it, and you can only give a murmur for an answer. It hurt to answer.

Even till now, you are seeking something abhorrent about this object, that would be sufficient to put you off.

But you can't. You simply can't find anything wrong with it. You can't seem to pin point whats wrong.

It just looks so good on others, why can't it look good on you?

Whats wrong with me?

Aren't we all?

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 14:17:41 GMT

Was typing an entry.. when i accidently kicked my plug, and caused the com to restart.. damn.

Anyway.. its been an interesting week so far.. though busy..

We had this "Celebrating your Dilligence" BBQ dinner thing for the whole Battalion on monday.. it was quite crappy.. i was carving meat off a whole damned turkey, and making the specialists BBQ stuff for me to eat. i was dead shit hungry after a 2 odd hour conference, and hours of pre-preparation. damn..

THe absence of officers during the 3 Div BBall match made me quite pissed.. BUT. Not to spoil the mood. I had so much fun watching the BBall match at mandai hill camp.. i never felt so excited watching a game i deemed barbaric not long ago... They were cheering the shits out of our team.. and it was great.. haha.. not to mention the sarcastic bitching with the sergeant majors. hah.

It was difficult to speak to them.. raise to them that, hey.. i'm leaving soon, and i cannot always be there to take and shit, or take the crap. I think the 'talk' went successful.. i hope they got what i meant, and i hope that they will be better off now. I just want to say that they're a great bunch of officers, they'll do well, and that i am very proud of most of them, and i am very very certain that i made a 90% correct choice and 95% right judgement on this batch of officers.

Went cycling out to ang mo kio for a very late breakfast with andrew today.. cus we felt like it.. haha..

been lazy at work the past few days.. been dressing in admin attire instead of smart 4.. haha.. and everybody's catching the admin bug cus DyS3 is wearing admin also. so wat gives!! haha.. assholes.

Bought Who Killed the Zutons on sunday.. its GREAT!!! haha.. yay. another great CD to the collection.

I'm looking forward to relaxation and rest for the rest of the year (but.. S3 is not around.. and i've to bear most of the brunt for the next few weeks though. nvm. it'll all be over soon)

MOS is opening tml, and i'm not one bit excited.

I lost my Ipod earphones. I have no idea why. This is the second time i've lost stuff in my office. WHY!? why would people want to steal my pirated DVDs instead of my 500 dollar handphone, or 300 bucks ipod, or take my visa card!? or somethign!? WHY DO YOU WANT TO STEAL MY DVDs!? whats wrong with you people!? there is like nearly 1K worth of merchandise on my table.. no no no.. you don't steal the merchandise, you steal a couple of lousy DVDs that don't even belong to me. You red bottomed screaminig ugly monkeys. And now. you steal my stinky earphones. that has probably been into my hamster's anus. Fuck off.

Then.. as i was trying to go home.. the blardy train ride was murdering me with BOREDOM. Like Hello!? A blardy 15 minute ride became a 1 hour harrowing experience on the train,. Changed train TWICE, and had the train stop in the damned tunnel like countless of times. Wasted sooo damn blardy much time, got pissed.. got off at PS, and decided to take a damned cab after waiting for the bus for 30 mins.What the blardy hell is wrong with our transportation system!!!!??? in the end, it took me 2 blardy hours to get home, when it usually took slightly less then 1. And i had to take TRAIN, and CAB> hell. I hate public transport.

Call me a spoilt brat, but i didn't want to carry my 5 tonne bag filled with dirty army uniform, and lug my sorry ass across our country looking haggard and tired. I just wanted to go home, and SMRT, and SBS was making sure i wouldn't. oh hell.

I need to go shopping. With some constructive shoppers please.

Tod in Freundschaft. Manchmal erfahren wir es, und bestimmt, ich genieße es nicht. Aber wie was Santosh hat gesagt, es certianly zum Punkt kommen könnte, wenn Sie, he erkennen.. diese Leute die Sie rufen Freunde, können Freunde afterall nicht sein!

Why this is wrong in my eyes.

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 16:26:27 GMT

"Along with the numerical growth, the church has experienced many miraculous healings of cancers, tumours, kidney conditions and much more. We also regularly receive testimonies of restored marriages and lives, and God's supernatural provision in the area of finances"

"God has done everything for you: you can be saved from sin and hell, and instead have joy, peace, health, a prosperous life, acceptance, love, and all good things in life. He is only waiting for you to take the first step towards Him."

Because when we are christians, we do not seek to be healed physically, we do not seek to be rich financially, and we do not ask to be given.

We ask to be healed spiritually, so that we can accept death, and love life, we ask to be rich spiritually, so that we can share our wealth of love and hope, and we ask to be taught, not to be given.

That is humility.

The passage i read was somehow suggesting that G-d WILL cure your ailments like Ma Tzu Por or Guan Yin, and will give you wealth like Cai Shen. It was like a testimony to the miracles that their god can acheive.

But the Christian miracle as we all know it, is Hope Faith and Charity.

Why not pray to Guan Yin to remove your tumours, and Cai shen to turn your business luck around? Buddhism preaches that Guan Yin loves all mankind, therefore inducing her mercifulness. So whats the diff?

Why do i seek to be healthy, and rich when i am a christian? Doesn't Christ teach us to desire or lust for riches and wealth? Why is it that out of the 6 good main things listed in the above passage, 2 are very dubious? (Prosperous life, and health)

If i had Jesus in me, do you think i care if i am dying?

If i had Jesus in me, do you think i care if i am poor?

If i had Jesus in me, i would know that i am going to heaven after i died.

If i had Jesus in me, i would know that Jesus would provide for me to what he thinks apt, and all i have to do, is to be virtuous in spirit, and live as he said. Even if he does not make me not poor, i will die happy because, i don't care about money! Jesus loves me! Money is shit!

Christian Brethren, do you think G-d gives a hoot about giving you money? He can make the sun shine, or the earth shake, and He can delight you by making the most beautiful things on earth, like a child's laughter, or a flower bloom. Don't you think these things are more important? Don't you think these things are priceless?

Christian Brethren, why do we have to be seek to be rich? and physically healthy for ourselves? Aren't these G-d's natural gift to us? Why must we ask for these superficial things that have no weight in heaven? Shouldn't we ask for the graces of the Lord Jesus so that we can gain eternal life?

Why my Christian Brethren? WHy?

Lets go to church tommorow to ask for 4 numbers. why not burn some joss paper at the same time?

My Jesus forgives the shallowness of your Jesus.

*author's note. This does not mean i hate protestants, or that i am anti-non-catholics. Neither does this mean that i am perfect and can criticize other people. I am merely stating what i have observed. I too have my shortcomings. I hope that what i see can be a ray of light to you, and maybe what you see can be my ray of light too. This article in no way represents the Catholic Church, or any denomination. I am writing it in the capacity of a concerned Christian Brethren.

My G-d is not god of fortune, or goddess of mercy. He is the Creator of your fishing rod.

Sun, 11 Dec 2005 16:01:26 GMT

I'm sorry if this is going to upset some protestants..

but seriously. i am not appreciative of YOU turning my G-d into some free gift giver.

My Jesus forgives the materialism of your Jesus.

"Along with the numerical growth, the church has experienced many miraculous healings of cancers, tumours, kidney conditions and much more. We also regularly receive testimonies of restored marriages and lives, and God's supernatural provision in the area of finances"

I'm so so disturbed.

Dark night of the soul.

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 16:11:59 GMT

MANY of these beginners have also at times great spiritual avarice. They will be found to be discontented with the spirituality which God gives them; and they are very disconsolate and querulous because they find not in spiritual things the consolation that they would desire. Many can never have enough of listening to counsels and learning spiritual precepts, and of possessing and reading many books which treat of this matter, and they spend their time on all these things rather than on works of mortification and the perfecting of the inward poverty of spirit which should be theirs. Furthermore, they burden themselves with images and rosaries which are very curious; now they put down one, now take up another; now they change about, now change back again; now they want this kind of thing, now that, preferring one kind of cross to another, because it is more curious. And others you will see adorned with agnusdeis and relics and tokens, like children with trinkets. Here I condemn the attachment of the heart, and the affection which they have for the nature, multitude and curiosity of these things, inasmuch as it is quite contrary to poverty of spirit which considers only the substance of devotion, makes use only of what suffices for that end and grows weary of this other kind of multiplicity and curiosity. For true devotion must issue from the heart, and consist in the truth and substances alone of what is represented by spiritual things; all the rest is affection and attachment proceeding from imperfection; and in order that one may pass to any kind of perfection it is necessary for such desires to be killed.

There are others who are vexed with themselves when they observe their own imperfectness, and display an impatience that is not humility; so impatient are they about this that they would fain be saints in a day. Many of these persons purpose to accomplish a great deal and make grand resolutions; yet, as they are not humble and have no misgivings about themselves, the more resolutions they make, the greater is their fall and the greater their annoyance, since they have not the patience to wait for that which God will give them when it pleases Him; this likewise is contrary to the spiritual meekness aforementioned, which cannot be wholly remedied save by the purgation of the dark night. Some souls, on the other hand, are so patient as regards the progress which they desire that God would gladly see them less so.

-------
I've changed. And i don't know if its for the better, or for worse.

By the way, i turned 20 ten days ago.

In sickness and in health.. till death do us part.

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 12:29:52 GMT

So... its a throat inflammation. wonder what i ate... could t be the whole damned tubed of pringles? or... the poor sleeping hours, ad long working nights?

Anyhow.. its all over now.

I can sit back and prepare to ORD, at last.

I have with me, I believe, a capable new officer who will take over all my tasks, duties and shit load of work, and i have a new FSCC ops sgt who I believe will run ops room well. I can leave in peace.

I wonder how will it be like.. life after army. it certainly feels.. scary.. for so long, I've lived in places other then home on weekdays, and i've been wearing the green every single work day.. i wonder how will it be like when i stop!

Before enlisting.. the army seemed so formidable, so abhorent, and it was like a bloody chore. it still is a bloody chore.. but certain aspects of it did pay off..

The same line still stands per the previous entry.

Singapore girls modeling only have 2 looks, the Come Hither Look and the Girl Next Door Look. and they suck at it. No wonder we've got more and more gays.

My salvation lies in your love.

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 04:04:24 GMT

There was a moment, where i thought that there could be continuity, in its most basic sense.

That the daily tune of slow march and harmonica whispers could carry on.

There was the time. When my brothers and sisters, were standing by, and my salvation lies, in their love.

This is what i know now.

All i see around me, are hues of blue and grey. No expressions.

------- Another matter altogether -------

We can't be proud of all the decisions and choices we make. And definitely, not that actions that we do.

Most of the time, we're jerks.

The questions that pounded me, was whether there was anyone, who was genuinely nice, and good. Good to the essence of being pure and in their purity, be good people.

As i reflected on my previous journal entries in my own private journal. The idea pounced on me that there were things that i did or said, that i wasn't particularly proud of. It was particularly depressing to actually think that counselling was needed. It didn't seem to matter.

You thought that you were right, in playing the emotions of a person. A third party intervention, or be the silent disapprover, or the silent supporter. you never thought your ignorance of your friends could lead you where you were. You didn't think.

Or did you think too much? too ignore the most obvious considerations that were presented to you in the form of bodily language? Or were you too dumb to decipher them?

And now, you are going to be alone, and silent you will be. Silence you will meet. You were a total jerk in 8 out of 10 cases. and you were probably wrong in all scenarios.

You loathed silence and yet you dwelled in it. What a hypocrite.

You smiled to everyone, and made the sun shine through your ass.

You gave them counsel with the sun in your eyes, and with the same pair of eyes, you mirrored dejection, aloofness. You never knew if you wanted to be alone or not.

And now you will leave this place, alone, and quietly, and no one will ever know, and no one will ever realise it.

You are, the punctuation mark of silence.

I could use a pen and paper.

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 15:29:17 GMT

Just the way i wanted it, i dare say.

The day was spent in oblivion silence.

Nobody knew, and nobody had to know.

Those who knew, knew better then to let the others know.

Those who knew and reacted. Knew that they mattered enough to be forgiven.

Those who found out, found out, and thus know. They knew better then to do anything more then a handshake.

Those who found out or knew. Knew better then to ask.

I played a tune for my birthday.

A Tango to forget, and a Waltz to remember.

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 14:28:36 GMT

A sliver of silver, and a whip of black,
Winds grow chilly, as you warm in your sack.
Grey tinted air, and bluish hued walls,
You wish you'd never arise this morn.

Yawns and stretches, a smile ensues,
Frosty cool air licks your chin, you're amused.
Quiet no frills, and sunless with clouds,
To this blessed morning, you wake with no doubts.

Kids? Why not?

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 05:19:16 GMT

Was talking about having kids with lu yesterday,

Kids. Cute. Cuddly. Always smiling.

They're supposed to bring joy like wherever right?

So. Heres my definition of Jason Lin's Perfect Kid.

1) He Must Not Cry.
- Jason's kids don't cry. They know no emotion other then joy and happiness.

2) He Must Not Drool.
- Jason's kids don't drool. They behave like normal human beings who do not slobber over everything.

3) He Must Not Demand Any Toys.
- Jason's kids will not be demanding with the evil Hasbro inventions. They will come naturally in the form of twigs and leaves and hamsters and husky pups.

4) He Will Always Smile.
- Jason's kids will always smile. Forever. With the cute giglly kind.

5) He Will Not Throw Tantrums.
- Jason's kids are perfect.

6) He Will Love Seseme Street.
- Which kids don't like that? He wil of course watch ONLY seseme street, and desperate housewives.

7) He Will Read My Favourite Authors At 5.
- Which includes, Kipling, Charlotte Brontte, Hawthorne, Austen, Edgar, Rand, Homer, Virgil, Murakami, Kundera, Black, and Maugham.

8) He Will Love and Learn to Play at Least 2 Classical Instruments.
- Which EXCLUDES the Piano, the Guitar, or Drums.

9) He Must Love Nature.
- I hope he becomes a Geologist.. or an Archaeologist.

10) He Must Love Me.
- DUH.

------

(Quote) "I need to get one of those cameras that looks like a big penis" (Unquote)

Inspired by the love of my country.

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 15:38:00 GMT

This is another patriotic entry by the author. Please do not read it if you dislike/hate our country

We, the people of Singapore, have always been living in peace and prosperity.

We, occur to be one of the lowest in corruption rates internationally, albeit, not the lowest.

I believe, with all my heart, that my country, is a fair and just country, with an image of sterling silver, with the strength of stainless steel.

Unfortunately, we have allowed double standards to surface in the fabric of our nation.

In three concurrent cases, our judicial system has revealed that we are unfair, incoherent, and absolutely outrageous.

In the first case, against the vietnamese drug protagonist from australia, he was tried and sentenced to death by our judicial systems. With all due respect to the sovereignity and integrity of our country, we have rejected all pleas from Australia for clemency. This is a show that we, Singapore, is a fair and just country that applies our laws equally to all mankind in our domain.

In the second case, a lady is being fined $3000 for refusing to hand over her roasted geese.

The poor lady, probably was less then accomodating, therefore enraging the ICA officers, and inducing them to charge her with obstruction of their duties.

This reflected a case of petty anger. One where the issue could have been solved with better PR skills, and higher tolerance. In this manner, the ICA has shown that they are indeed a petty bunch, especially against a witless lady.

In the last case, our dear famous pianist. Evaded National Service for 30 Years, daringly return to our country, and smile. And our judicial system, (G-d save our Chief Justice), has allowed him to go SCOT- FREE for $5000. Isn't that nice?

The reflection of some singaporeans was that this showed that we were magnamous (especially to people with talent). MAGNAMITY? THE COURTS OF SINGPORE> WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MAGNAMITY?

There are those who have evaded National Service, returned and get thrown to jail.

and here we are talking about magnamity.

If our courts were magnamous, wouldn't the lady be just let off with a warning? wouldn't our dear viet drug protagonist be incacerated for life, isntead of death?

magnamity? BULL - FUCKING -SHIT.

I lvoe my country. and it hurts me very deeply to see how rotten and disgustingly shallow our system really is.

We built this city,

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 14:23:30 GMT

We built this city of gold and silver.
We designed this city, tall and suave.
We stack the gold bricks up above.
Sparkling shining, sterling turf.

They see this city twinkling.
They all come to see.
And when they get too close,
It crumbles apart so easily.

------

Seeking good counsel.

Is probably the most difficult thing that i would have to do.

Trust.

Is an issue that I have to resolve.

Work.

Is a detestable activity that I wish to stop.

Tyranny.

Is probably the habit that I sometimes enjoy.

Social lfe.

Is something, i'm lacking of.

------

We build this city of Rock 'n Roll.

put your arm around us.

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 16:11:35 GMT

Sometimes, we sit and listen, and realize that, we haven't been listening all this while.

You should never ever. ever. ever. repeat that again.

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 13:35:49 GMT

Its great sitting down to watch a nice warm fuzzy movie like Hairy Putter after a days work. Not that i did alot.. its just nice. wow. S3 just left office. and i'm here. in my office. in admin..haha.. he's like lamenting work. well who doesn't. ------ How many guys have you slept with? Hmmmm well wait let me get the calculator. Do you count repeats? totally. wrong. ------ lets try to spend lesser money.

I have no idea why i'm saying this.

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 13:48:10 GMT

I am absolutely fascinated by Maddona's gyrations in her new MTV.

It is UTTERLY fascinating. The way she gyrates this way and that.. shaking like everything on her body like she has no joints.

wow. that middle aged woman can sure dance.

And her songs are rather catchy too!

Dancing Maddona.

Electric!

Time for medication.

On the account of treason and for the love of my country.

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 05:13:56 GMT

I never. repeat NEVER blogged about controversial issues. cus i think its dumb discussing other people's life when it totally does not affect me. But this. PISSED me off so big, so much so i am beginning to hate myself for loving my country.

Some dude from some hole in London. Decides one fine day to have a finality in his life, a full closure on an issue he evaded like a coward for 30 odd years. Brilliant. A maestro of courage you would think.

But this swine. no more then a wimpy coward to me, is practically a Traitor to our beloved country, who has committed TREASON.

Why do i use such strong words?

We, the men of Singapore, devote a period of 2 to 2.5 years of our lives literally serving the country through the armed forces, or civil defence.

We, forsaked education, albeit unwillingly, but we did it, and earned our birthright, it isn't even a right when we have to earn it.

We, sweat, pespired, and worked hard in these 2 years or so (or at least most of us).

We, also contribute to country after we leave NS.

Look at all the great contributors in singapore. WHO hasn't served army?

SM Goh, has served, PM Lee has served. MM Lee made us serve (he served an even greater and heavier deal), MinDef, RAdm(ret) Teo totally served.

Ok. fine. other then the politicians?

The famous artistes?.. Eric Khoo served, ALL local mediacorp artistes served. and even many more whom i'm not well acquainted with.

AND this dude. WHO apparently is so gooood in his piano, doesn't need to serve? and only needs to pay 5000 buckeroos??????????

WHAT EMOTIONAL DISTRESS?

WHAT CONTRIBUTION???

the fucker didn't even stay in singapore. and i've never heard of him.

Treason.

He treats our country like some hotel. Happy come happy go.

PLEASE GO BACK TO UK. and STAY THERE.

i hope all singaporeans will boycott his performance in solidarity with all National servicemen and our Nation's policy, for the goodwill of Loyalty to country and the sovereignity and value of our citizenship.

Being born in singapore doesn't mean you have the right to be a singaporean. you've got to have the moral responsibility.

A question of sanity...

Sat, 19 Nov 2005 18:58:06 GMT

Yes. i know. the night is still young. for a saturday night that is.. but. we've got church tommorow. and we cannot miss church tommrow.

Anyway. we went to 2 places. Makina or Makino.. whatever the name.. totally sucked cus it was totally DEAD. can't really blame the place since it like just opened not so long ago.

we got out. 7 into a teeny weeny Beemer 7 series. ok.. maybe not so teeny weeny.. and headed for Thumper.

Heard of Thumper. But. NEVER been there.. thats like totally out of my age league. but anyway. due to connections. we went in.

THe music. was GREAT. like really FANTaSTIC great. to boot. it was LIIIVE. gosh. i'm a blardy sucker for live music.

anyway. downed about 4 shots. 1 dry whisky, and small amount of draught. lovely.

HM wasn't so sporty today. i think he thinks i'm a jerk. : (

anyway. it was really great. yes. really great. and we met HM's cousin for the first time. and yes. her very fine friends. whom i've met 2 of them before. (1 from SA one from sentosa) small small small uber tiny weeny small world.

i thought i said i won't club this week? i thought i thought.. bleargh.

Brainless thoughts.

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 13:39:33 GMT

I just realised again. I'm 19. Freaking blardy hell 19. not even 20. Its amazing. I"M 19!!!!! haha.. yay.

when i was typing stuff on the laptop the other.. the brainless PSOs were amusing themselves with my typo errors. S$ S#.. etc etc. absolutely brainless.. i dunno whats so funny about S "Money" being S4. ahh.. haha.. abit insane.

My gosh.. someones chanting in some foreign language at the bottom of my block..

Anyway..

we were waiting for the shuttle bus to come.. and this minibus drove by (SAF minibus)... and the driver waved to me.. so i waved back..

then ta hoong asked.."who's that"

i dunno..

but he was waving at you!

yah.. so i waved back lah!

why was he waving at you?

i've got a wave-able face. people like waving at me.

....how i cheated more offs from my boss...

(talking to self).. hmm.. how to make this office a better working environment...

(S3).. get me flat screens.. change my chair, change my computer, give me more printers, more paper, better furniture.. etc etc..

No no.. sir.. think.. more immediate practical...

More off days?

Yes! thank you sir!

A quick tear drop will suffice.

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 13:36:38 GMT

Sometimes. You sit and wonder. What went wrong.

Because i have to talk about it..

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 09:07:56 GMT

The first time i lost it infront of so many people..

It almost seemed too surreal to be true. I once promised myself when i was a cadet, that i will never punish or scream at my men eeever. I hated the way i was treated in BMT, and the early days in FAOCC.. and now the monster was unleashed.

THey were told to fall in at 0700 hrs for their IPPT on monday evening... so this morning. i came down at about 0702, and there was no one.. but only Ariel.. my neutral for IPPT. well 2 mins. fine by me.. i wasn't exactly early anyway..

so i told my spec to get them to come down quick.. don't waste time.. the sun's coming out.

and they all fell in. Time? 0712.

I kinda lost it.

whole lot half left down. slow. recover. half left down.

and the shouting began.

Don't worry. i didn't scold vulgarities or anything. And i didn't torture them...

Only later did i find out some of them didn't know about the fall in timing.

BSM gave them more punishment.. which me and qm talked him into agreeing to execute the punishment tommrow instead.

Then came the officers' turn.

brilliant. i don't like it when people take things for granted. and i really showed how much i disliked it, and it could be measured in decibals

half day off today.. can relax.. lie in bed and do nothing.. wanted to go swimming.. but. but... damn.. too nua to move. hahaha..

S3 said i was too harsh on them. i told him i feel that i don't want to have any compromises on any planning, decision making, or discipline. to me these were fundamental concepts that should be morally guided by an officer's ethos.

to make it clear. I never liked scolding people. I talk loudly. but always in jest. when i really scold. it means its really bad. it makes me feel.... horrible.